Reflections "On the Wings of Love": Who is the YOU that you want to BE?

What could we possibly learn from a show like the Bachelor? It's clearly fake, and obviously that Roslyn chick was just hired to add some juiciness to the show, and basically the only reason I watch it is to see what extravagant date ideas I can snag for my hypothetical future dates. However, having said that, after watching the finale last week I surprisingly came away with one somewhat substantial piece of insight, and am shocked to admit, I may just use it in my own dating life. This revelatory moment came when, I believe, one of Jake's sisters mentioned that Vienna (the supposedly psycho, self-centered, trailer trash girl from Florida), made Jake laugh. She brought out the goofy side in him, the side that the family knew well, but that those "perfect-Tenleyesque-pedestal girls" could not seem to tease out of him.

It's so true. The more I watched his interaction with Tenley, someone so clearly in tune with him in terms of core values, interests, and general disposition, the more I realized they were almost too perfect together. Jake kept saying, "there is something missing, nothing is wrong, but there is just something missing". What is that missing thing? He couldn't even begin to explain it. Well I'll tell you what it is - it's the ability to be the person that you love to be. It's almost like, when with someone else, you begin to fall in love with yourself. We think this way in terms of friends don't we? I know that the friends that I cherish the most are the ones that make me love who I am around them...no falsehoods, no trying hard, everything is easy, and FUN!

So when looking for a partner, we should really be looking at ourselves...at the "(insert my name) I am when I am around (insert partner's name)". Do we like ourselves when we are around that person? Do we show sides of our personality that might not always shine through in other relationships?

I think about all the people that I have known, the guys that I have dated, and honestly, the ones that stick out in my mind the most, are the ones that didn't just align with my own values/interests/perspectives on life, but those that had that mysterious thing that wasn't missing, the "je ne sais quoi"...for me that was bringing out the kid in me. I know I can be a bit serious at times, but I know that I love to be a huge goof-ball, so it just takes the right person to stimulate that in me :) It's not something I can check off on a list, or put out in a personal ad, its not a characteristic someone has and another doesn't...its just the magic of the interaction that two particular people can have in a particular moment in their lives.

So who is the you that you want to be? Now go find the person that makes it happen!