A 60 year old man who plays with miniature soldiers, is he nuts or is he a genius?
Like many people, my neighbour has a hobby that he loves. However, it just so happens that is doesn’t fall into the regular category of leisure activities. Unlike those whose downtime might consist of playing golf, reading, or painting, my neighbour plays with little plastic soldiers. The irony is, he is a professional psychologist. While he has made a career out of counselling others on their mental, emotional, and psychological issues, on the outside what he does seems to be not so rock solid. So having most likely seen some of the craziest of crazies out there, one might wonder, how sane is this guy? Would you want someone who spends his free time locked up in the basement playing with miniature militia and obsessing over his new castles to counsel you on your normalcy?
For the past few years, he has come up to our family cottage to use the grounds as his battlefield. He sets up imaginary wars with forts, tanks, and soldiers. Each summer, inevitably we find at least one wounded soldier lost in battle, and inevitably I have to make up some explanation to friends about why a fake plastic soldier is hanging out in our lawn. But for years I have never really questioned his hobby nor really seen it as something worth my consideration. But for some reason, this summer, sitting at the cottage alone with him for the first time, I am really curious what it’s all about.
So lounging in an inner tube in the pond, I ask him and he casually reveals to me the world of war games and miniature battles. I find out it involves attending conferences that bring together all the other (yes, he’s not the only one) likeminded battle guys to discuss ground tactics and castle engineering design! As he patiently answers my questions and goes deeper into sharing his hobby with me I become enthralled. It’s fascinating! I realize “playing” with these toys involves more than just a hap-hazard placement of plastic pieces, it involves researching and re-enacting historic battles, choosing which commands and orders to use, and working out ways to improvise moves to witness a new outcome. So it definitely does have a side that would satisfy someone’s search for the rational, but more importantly, it taps into a side of him that a lot of us (in our quest to grow up) have lost along the way, his inner child.
After talking to him, I began to reflect on where my inner child is. And what a perfect moment to do so, because sitting around the family cottage immediately takes me back to childhood memories. It connects me to the hours upon hours that I would spend using my imagination to create my own fun. I would amuse myself designing pretend offices in the rock wall that lines our swimming pool, using flat rocks as stationary, skinny rocks as staplers, and so on, stretching my creativity as far as it would go. I would spend days in the pool playing mermaid games and designing treasure hunts, and I too would build imaginary cities and fictional scenarios out of miniature figurines, LEGO blocks, and plastic animal toys. In fact, I think that was the most fun summer activity I ever did! So with such a rich bank of memories like this, why am I so quick to judge what my neighbour is doing?
Having just finished my masters and had some time to travel, I’m actually in a point in my life where I’m actively trying to reconnect with my “inner child”. Having spent so many years in academia and prepping my serious side for the real world, making sure I had a good head on my shoulders, I’ve actually realized that what I miss and long for is my old sense of silliness! A feeling of uninhibited, non-resistant freedom and an openness to do the things that grown ups aren’t supposed to do. I suppose it’s a common identity struggle as a 25 year old, trying to be a grown up, establish my adult persona, become independent, become respected by the adult community, but not lose myself along the way.
So as I sit here, on the first day of summer, lounging on a chair in the front lawn, I’m literally scanning my childhood, remembering what fun I could make out of thin air. I’m looking over at a hammock, behind which used to be a sandbox where I would make elaborate sand forts with just one plastic shovel and bucket. To my right is a slight slope in the ground, which seems trivial now, but as a child is was the best toboganning hill around. I would go up and down hundreds of times before getting bored. The plain grassy lawn which now doesn’t seem to be an obvious source of fun, used to be a breeding ground for exciting activities such as flying a kite, doing cartwheels, playing Frisbee, or making obstacles courses for my dog. In the distance I see “beachy” my secret hideout revolving around a big beach tree that I loved to climb. Each branch had a separate function, one was the outlook spot, another was the swinging branch, and another the lounger. I could continue describing all the different ways I entertained myself as a kid, the creative games I played, but in all honesty it’s a sad kind of nostalgia for what I once was able to do. Why don’t I have the urge to play hide and seek?
However, there is still hope! All of this consideration of childhood and imagination has actually made me aware of others that are also tapping in to it. I recently went on a yoga retreat where I met a very well put together women, quite serious on the outside and solid as a rock in her meditation, but surprisingly she was a huge advocate for colouring books! She claimed that it was her time to just be a kid and colour in pictures of fairies without feeling silly or embarrassed. She loved the use of bright colours, the movement of her arms, and above all, the ability to do something with no specific purpose at all. Upon her advice, I went out to Toys R Us and bought myself a 64 set of Crayola crayons to begin colouring again. Why not? Maybe I’ll even invest in some glitter and make a collection of sparkly masterpieces. If I let myself enjoy it again, then maybe this feeling of seriousness will just seem…silly. Obviously, we have our responsibilities as we grow older, we have the practicalities of dealing with finding a job, finding a partner, paying bills, but we also have a responsibility not to become a dried out cookie cutter mould uninspired individual that only seems to have fun by being entertained by something else, drinking, movie going, etc. Ultimately, we should not forget what we enjoyed as a kid.
So back to my friend, the soldier guy. Is he nuts? Well, I would argue that he is in fact one of the brightest and wisest people I know. I admire him for his ability to just do it, to pick up a hobby that looks a little loony on the outside, but is something that gives him immense joy and above all, gets him lined up with his inner child!
