Does your ego drive your ideas?

Has someone ever said to you “just put that thought in your parking lot?” i.e. great idea, we'll get back to it later when there's more time, money, resources etc.

Or perhaps you might have had someone say to you “you’re such a great visionary” i.e. love the ideas, now how’re we going to do it?

Well I’ve heard it. Sometimes I have so many thoughts running through my head that my mental roadways start to get full of traffic jams. In those instances no “cars” get to move forward because everyone is stuck. I just need some parking lots.

Last month was a particularly traffic jammy type month. I think maybe because it was the start of a new year so I was so eager to jump ahead and get going with plans, new yoga workshop ideas, connections I wanted to make, and interesting people I hoped to meet.

Yet, by the end of the month I had little to show for it, except for a pair of baggy eyes, and an overbooked calendar.

My head was ready to explode.

In yoga and other energy healing modalities, they might say I wasn’t fully “grounded”. I was in my upper chakras of sight/vision and not my lower ones of manifestation, feeling, and creation. I wasn’t fully in my body, I was in my mind, living in the realm of ideas, and not really getting anywhere, just getting overwhelmed.

I had ODed on ideas.

I was paralyzed and didn’t know which way to go because everything seemed so interesting and important. I was in a major mental traffic jam.

Or if each idea/plan/vision were represented by a post-it note, I had no board to post them on. My mind was cluttered with beautiful, multi-coloured stickies, but no wall to stick them to!

With the help of a very dear healer of mine, we spent some time mind-mapping out all of my mental post-its, dumping them onto a table, noticing which were taking up lots of my energy, which I wished would take up more of my energy, what I could park/throw away, and highlighted what I needed to move forward.


Aside from helping me prioritize, this visually showed me something even more interesting…my ego!

My ego was at fault for creating this post-it insanity or this mental car pill up.

I had never really thought about it this way, but yes, all my ideas and eagerness to pursue them right now, was simply my ego taking over (not to be confused with being egotistical, or self-centered).

So I spent some time contemplating this ego.

What was happening in this state of un-groundedness, was I was allowing my ego to orchestrate the symphony of post-its up there. He/she/it was telling me “I want to do it all, I can do it all, I think everything is interesting and worth pursuing, do it…NOW!”.

The problem was, nowhere was my ego telling me what to do first or where to start, or reminding me that I had choice. Ego was not providing me with a bulletin board for support.

So I called in my good friends humility and patience. They helped me sort things out.

I realized that yes, while I find so many ideas interesting and often want to pursue them all, I need to be gentle and not expect my physical self to be able to keep up or make all the ideas into reality.

As soon as I saw it was my ego trying to make me do all of these things, it changed how I approached my list. Even though it wasn’t coming from a place of self-centeredness, it still meant that some inner part of me felt I needed to accomplish it all – that’s ego.

So I created a sort of separation from the ideas, allowed myself to step back, and to say, “who is really driving this urge to get it done? Who is telling me it’s all important?”

And so from now on, I hope to pause before getting overwhelmed with pursuing intriguing ideas and plans, take a look at the mental post-its and remember to always call in patience and humility for help.

What are the post-its that are floating in your head? How might you see them differently if you were to ask yourself “where are these coming from?” and “Who says I need to do them?”

What building is your body?

You know the saying “my body is my temple”? Well I’ve been thinking about that lately, given that it’s the New Year and high up on many people’s resolution lists are things like “I want to drink less”, “I want to work out more”, “I want to eliminate my love handles/beer belly/[insert relevant body part here]”.

So I was in the gym today (NOT due to a resolution) and started thinking about that saying. I started looking around and wondering who actually considers their body to be their temples, versus who considers it to be their not-good-enough, need-to-fix, not-quite-perfect thing they live with?

But we live everyday of our lives IN this vessel, just like the house we sleep in every night. This magnificent container holds all of our emotions, mental thoughts, belief systems, and physical matter. But do we regularly view it as one of the single most important things in our lives? In many cases, no - we take it for granted.

So as I was thinking this, I was staring out the window at a church spire. Then I caught a glimpse of a smoke stack. “Interesting juxtaposition,” I thought. Both tall thin structures, yet one is holy the other is harmful. I’m 5’11’ – I could be either a spire or a smoke stack, depending on my personal perspective of my temple. But I don’t want to be either…I want to create my own building.

My building would be tall but also wide, showing its strength. It would be soft but have a solid foundation in the earth, and lots of skylights connecting up to the stars, sun, moon, etc. It would have a fire burning everyday on the inside and the glow from the fire would shine out through all of the windows (lots of windows!). I would have a waterfall on the inside, constantly flowing and moving. At the centre there would be plush chairs, maybe some satin, and a cozy warm coloured carpet. There would be some soft curtains that could drape over the windows, but I would decide when to keep them open and when to close them. There would also be balconies to reach out to other buildings.

But my building is not static. Buildings constantly change – as we choose to invest in them and improve them, or neglect them and let them fall apart. At one point my building may have had a few nooks and crannies, but I’ve recently done some renovations and decided it’s much more enjoyable to have an open concept living area, so I can move freely around.

I’ve also opened up the attic, and made it more of a loft, because I found myself spending a bit too much time up there and not enough time down on the ground floor. And finally, there are touches of gold and intricate detailing on the façade, so that when you look closely you can appreciate the complexity.

So that’s my building. That’s what I envisioned in my 30-minute elliptical session. Not focusing on time, calories burnt, distance achieved, but rather the magnificent vessel that was propelling me.

Now in keeping with this metaphor, I thought wouldn’t it be great if the next time we find ourselves saying negative self-talk, we could go back to that image of the building that we created. Would we say the same thing about our body if we spun it into a metaphor?

Would my gassy stomach be so bad if it was simply a bubble machine inside the living room? Would my cracking knees be so embarrassing if they were simply the beautiful hardwood flooring of my bedroom?

What areas in your building do you tend to focus on and what areas do you neglect because they aren’t “pretty”? How can we begin to appreciate the whole building?

And my final question is, where do you find yourself residing most often within your building? Do you spend most of your time standing at the window, gazing out but not opening the door and walking into the garden? Do you love decorating or paying attention to the ground floor, the social areas, and the feeling areas, the cozy living room where you can warm up with others but sometimes forget about the rooftop patio that connects you to the sky and your own solitude?

As I said, I have in the past spent a lot of the time in the attic – in my mind. And while the attic is really fun, it can get lonely and cold, since it’s far away from the feeling of the ground, the fire and everyone else around it.

So would spending a bit more time focusing on the lower floors - my emotional body be so scary if it was simply another inviting room in the house to explore?

Probably not.

The next time you find yourself making resolutions or opinions about this temple that is your unique body, I invite you to first imagine your beautiful building. Ask yourself how you view each physical body part, and how you view your other bodies (mental, emotional, spiritual), and how do they manifest in your building. Then look at the temple that you are, the places that you go to inside that temple, and maybe what areas could use a little more love and care. Then go there! ☺